Current:Home > Finance'Chronically single' TikTokers go viral for sharing horrible dating advice -Wealth Evolution Experts
'Chronically single' TikTokers go viral for sharing horrible dating advice
View
Date:2025-04-14 15:07:06
Are you in a relationship and giving unsolicited dating advice? Your "chronically single" friends may like a word.
Single people are going viral on TikTok for sharing the most unhelpful dating tips they've gotten from well-meaning friends in relationships. In one of the videos, with 4.6 million views, a woman shares some of the most frustrating clichés she hears as a self-described "chronically single 25-year-old."
At the top of her − and many others' − lists: "It'll happen when you least expect it."
"Will it?" she asks. "Quite some time actually I have not expected it, and it still hasn't happened." Another contender? Stop looking, and that's when you'll find it. "I haven't been looking, and it's the not looking, I fear, that has resulted in years of absolutely no contact with a man," she adds.
Her video has inspired a slew of other TikTokers to share the unhelpful advice they've heard − and dating experts say the trend speaks to frustrations single people feel not only with modern dating but also with people in relationships giving unwanted or out-of-touch feedback.
"Dating is harder than ever before," says Amy Chan, a dating coach and author of "Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart." "These platitudes are really condescending and minimize people's emotional experiences, and I think people are fed up."
More:People are paying thousands for 'dating boot camp' with sex experts. I signed up.
What 'chronically single' people are tired of hearing
The "chronically single" trend has been a way for singles to come together and commiserate over the worst dating advice they've received. Experts say it highlights how common some of these seemingly harmless platitudes have become − even if they're actually damaging to finding a relationship.
One of these oft-repeated platitudes, Chan says, is that a relationship will happen when you least expect it. She says this one is especially irresponsible, because it encourages singles not to put effort into meeting likeminded people, which is the best avenue for finding a relationship.
"These attitudes, they can spread and they can really stick in people's heads, because they're so catchy," Chan says. "And then people start believing them as truth."
Some of the platitudes are also insulting. One of these, Chan says, is that you have to love yourself before you can love anybody else, which another chronically single TikToker says he's tired of hearing in a video viewed 2.3 million times.
Get the latest internet buzz to your inbox with USA TODAY's Everyone's Talking newsletter.
It's true self-love is critical − but telling this to a single person implies they're single because they don't love themselves, which is not necessarily true.
"This journey of healing, it's not like you have to complete it before you're finally ready to meet someone," Chan says, adding it's not a journey that stops once you do get into a relationship either. "A lot of your growing can come in relation with someone else."
More:Chaotic Singles Parties are going viral on TikTok. So I went to one.
How to give real dating advice to your single friends
Blaine Anderson, a dating coach for men, says the complaints on TikTok show that we need to have empathy for those who want to find love but are struggling to do so.
However, she also says some of the chronically single TikTokers may be holding themselves back in ways they don't realize. For instance, many of them bemoan getting told to "put yourself out there," noting that they do go out to bars and are on dating apps.
While it's true they may be putting themselves out there in these ways, Anderson says the TikTokers may not be doing so in the best way. Instead of going to bars and clubs, she recommends meeting other singles through shared activities and interests.
Also, evaluate "how many new people you're meeting on a daily or weekly basis," Anderson says. "Technology and these social apps can lead people to thinking that they're meeting a lot of people and they're talking to a lot of people, but, if they actually write down every time they talk to a new person, the number is usually pretty low in real life."
Dating rules to avoid:Relationship experts say these common dating 'rules' are actually ruining your love life
If you know someone who's chronically single, often just listening and showing empathy are all they want from you. Only give advice, Anderson says, if they ask for it.
Also, don't assume singleness as necessarily a problem that needs to be solved.
"There's nothing inherently wrong with being single," Anderson says. "Approaching somebody and then giving them advice on how they can correct that problem, you're making a lot of assumptions."
Have you heard of 'relation-shopping'?It might be why you're still single.
And, if you're someone who's chronically single and does want a relationship, "Keep knowing that your path is unique," Chan says. "Maybe you'll spend your 20s in a relationship, and then maybe your later years not. Maybe it's going to be the other way around. There is no one right way."
veryGood! (6)
Related
- Justice Department, Louisville reach deal after probe prompted by Breonna Taylor killing
- Big Meat and Dairy Companies Have Spent Millions Lobbying Against Climate Action, a New Study Finds
- Few Southeast Cities Have Climate Targets, but That’s Slowly Changing
- The Ultimatum’s Xander Shares What’s Hard to Watch Back in Vanessa Relationship
- Senate begins final push to expand Social Security benefits for millions of people
- Celebrating July 2, America's other Independence Day
- California Climate Change Report Adds to Evidence as State Pushes Back on Trump
- 22 Father's Day Gift Ideas for the TV & Movie-Obsessed Dad
- The Grammy nominee you need to hear: Esperanza Spalding
- General Hospital's Jack and Kristina Wagner Honor Son Harrison on First Anniversary of His Death
Ranking
- Former longtime South Carolina congressman John Spratt dies at 82
- Few Southeast Cities Have Climate Targets, but That’s Slowly Changing
- Mark Consuelos Reveals Warning Text He Received From Daughter Lola During Live With Kelly & Mark
- Exxon’s Climate Fraud Trial Opens to a Packed New York Courtroom
- Newly elected West Virginia lawmaker arrested and accused of making terroristic threats
- The Ultimatum’s Xander Shares What’s Hard to Watch Back in Vanessa Relationship
- Stormi Webster Is All Grown Up as Kylie Jenner Celebrates Daughter’s Pre-Kindergarten Graduation
- Extra! New strategies for survival by South Carolina newspapers
Recommendation
EU countries double down on a halt to Syrian asylum claims but will not yet send people back
Brooklyn Startup Tackles Global Health with a Cleaner Stove
Wednesday's Percy Hynes White Denies Baseless, Harmful Misconduct Accusations
North Carolina Wind Power Hangs in the Balance Amid National Security Debate
'Squid Game' without subtitles? Duolingo, Netflix encourage fans to learn Korean
Biden Takes Aim at Reducing Emissions of Super-Polluting Methane Gas, With or Without the Republicans
Mom influencer Katie Sorensen sentenced to jail for falsely claiming couple tried to kidnap her kids at a crafts store
Vanderpump Rules' Raquel Leviss Turns on Tom Sandoval and Reveals Secret He Never Wanted Out